Okay, I admit it. A few days ago, I made an OKCupid account because of reasons (that we don’t have to talk about). I’ve never had luck with online dating, but this time something different is happening.
Normally, I don’t like writing or talking much about myself. However, in a dating profile, you absolutely must talk about yourself—the more, the better! So I went for it. I wrote about myself and I wrote way too much. I keep adding little bits as I go. I didn’t hold back or hide tiny nuggets of information behind layer after layer of sarcasm and/or apathy. It was surprisingly freeing to write and… I’m having a lot of fun.
It almost makes me feel bad that I’ve shamed myself out of making that kind of profile, describing myself that way for so long. I had a traumatic experience one time, looking back at a Yahoo Geocities website I had made for myself when I was only a couple years younger. The embarrassment I felt still keeps me up most nights.
It still makes me a little uncomfortable to dedicate hundreds of words to describing myself, my thoughts, what I like and dislike, but I feel like an online dating profile is the appropriate place to do that sort of thing. Anyway, I got a date out of it. (Wish me luck.)
Just tell me how many calories are in the whole bag because there’s no way I am only eating ten chips.
Monday the 13th is definitely more of a nightmare than Friday. At least on Friday the 13th, you’ve got Saturday the 14th look forward to. Who the fuck looks forward to a Tuesday?
Teenagers don’t act like teenagers because they’re all teenagers. They act that way because society says they do.
Adults invented teenagers. They needed someone to blame for everything they didn’t like about how the world was changing.
Teenagers might be one of the most abused, underrepresented groups of people in America. The only reason teenagers don’t organize themselves, why no one advocates for them is because they all quickly age out of being part of that group.
Q:What inspired you to write??
I don’t know. One day I just started writing because I needed to. I’ve never not needed to since then.
I realized two things recently.
1. I have a lot of new followers and I haven’t welcomed any of you. Welcome new potential Internet friends maybe, like, I mean, we can take it slow… no pressure or anything.
2. A lot of you reading this right now are probably followers on tumblr and probably don’t venture off your dash very often. You may not know, my blog is a whole wide website of pizza related humor. If you are interested in that, or learning more about me in general, you should check out my about page.
My sarcastic animated gif responses to anonymous questions also seem to be popular with you kids with your loud music and your Dan Fogelberg, your Zima, hula hoops, and Pac-Man video games. I have piled all of those up in one place for you on a page I don’t like to call Fan Mail.
Thank you all for following me. It makes me feel a little less like I’m a worthless aspiring robot who will never achieve his dream of becoming more than human, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
On December 5, 2011 I began “Chris Writes Daily.” Back then it was called “Write Every Day” and it the posts looked a lot different, but the idea was the same.
Just like last anniversary, I’ll be putting up some links to my favorite posts of the last 12 months. Look for those tomorrow.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the last two years.