Q:Who's the internet lady that you love?
I’m not really in love with them. I don’t know them.
I have Internet crushes on a few women I’ve encountered online that I’ve never met in-person, but I’d rather not say who because it’s not entirely unreasonable that they could see this and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.
Maybe it would be flattering, but I really wouldn’t want any of them to come across a post like this and think I’m following their every tweet, blog post, instagram, vine, or whatever and that they can’t do anything online without me here… watching… waiting… because that is really not the case. I just really like what they do, I respect them, I admire them, and if they lived anywhere near me, I’d really like to go on a date with them.
Q:Are you in love?
Only with pizza and every woman I admire on the Internet who I could never hope to meet, talk to, touch, kiss, or have a relationship with, which is obviously a very healthy way to go through life…
by which I mean
so thanks for making me think about that all alone on a Sunday night.
Q:Is it ever okay to dump someone via text? I mean…the right answer should be no, right? But here’s the problem. He lives an hour away with tolls. Problem number one: he shouldn’t have to pay to drive all the way here to get dumped. Problem number two: if I do it at the beginning of whatever we do, he is going to have to drive the hour back right after coming all the way down here. BUT if I do it at the end, I’m going to be miserable the whole time. Any advice on how you might handle this?
The only time it is okay to dump someone in a text is if your entire relationship happened in texts.
That’s actually a fairly safe rule. However you interacted most in your relationship is a pretty good indicator of what the bare minimum of interaction should be when you break up.
In your particular case, I think a phone call is acceptable. If you really wanted to be as respectful as possible and treat them well, you should go to them, though I realize there may be very good reason you can’t do that.
Q:Why are you so cute and perfect?
edit: see also:
Q:Is it politically incorrect to say you're straight now?
Straight? Kinda. Heterosexual/romantic? No. I don’t think so? I don’t know.
As I’ve been pretty much exclusively attracted to females my entire life and have never had a romantic relationship with another gender, I think it is most accurate (and I feel most comfortable) identifying that way.
That said, I’m not particularly preoccupied with it. If I found myself attracted to and/or having a romantic relationship with someone who, just to name three examples, didn’t identify as any gender, who was gender fluid, or who was male, I’d be less interested in figuring out what that meant for my identity and more interested in that person, my attraction to them, and the love and happiness we could share together.
Again, I haven’t experienced this kind of relationship before and because of that, I don’t think it’s likely I ever will. I consistently imagine and pursue potential romantic relationships with women.
Does that mean I am strictly heterosexual? I don’t know. I really don’t. We live in a Universe of infinite possibilities and I don’t think I have to know! No one has to know. I think it’s okay not to know.
ALL THE ANONS (AGAIN)!
I do. My favorite character is either Holy Roman Empire or Canada. Don’t worry about the hate dicks. It’s kind of a hazard of being alive.
Thanks! It is stupid. They are stupid. Lots of people in the world are stupid. Sounds like a them problem not a me problem, though. Oh well.
Go eat a bag of some kind of genitals you aren’t interested in eating.
While I reject the gender binary rubric, believe that sexuality is a wibbly-wobbly sexy-wexy mess, and would never deny (or feel shame about) experiencing any kind of attraction to any adult I was attracted to regardless of who they were, I have never been in a romantic relationship with someone of the same gender and I’ve never had romantic interest in a man.
Could I be attracted to a man? Why not? Have I met that man? No. Do I expect to, ever? Not really.
This is the most complete, honest answer I can give at the moment. It’s not meant to make you all…
Thanks very much! You actually sent this a while ago. Did you come back? The very next day? Like that cat from that one song or whatever?
Nope, you’re pretty much right about that series of posts. It’s also meant to mercilessly make fun of me, so it’s kind of multi-layered. Like a fancy dip… a smelly, fancy dip. Thanks for the nice words. What is your favorite kind of salad?
I appreciate that, but I’m not sorry I received a lot of negativity. It’s given me a lot to write about and most of the people who have sent me messages on Tumblr about it have been really nice. Like you. Thanks!
Is that smiley face or a bitty little dick?
If you are a robot (and based on your flawless sentence structure, I’m inclined to think you are), then I can honestly say, “it’s mutual.”
Q:i think you're okcupid profile is the saddest thing i ever read. i am sure you're very datable though, irl. good luck!
I think your message gives me plenty of evidence that you’re not the type of person I was trying to attract, but thank you for the well-wishes.
Q:Are u in love?
Q:What makes you happy?
There are so many ways I want to answer this question. This question makes me happy, I guess.
Hockey, pizza, beer. Music, napping, video games. Acting, writing, art. Love, equality, my best friends. Science, road trips, ferrets. Reading, long conversations about ideas, entertaining people.