"Crumbs of My (Deleted) OKCupid Profile - Part 3"
For all the very obvious problems with my profile, I did one thing well; I was honest.
Yes, sometimes I wrote strange, unnecessary jokes, described myself in confusing terms, and wrote in a style that even Stephen Fry would find dry and difficult to approach… but I was always honest.
So, I found it very confusing when I’d receive messages from people who very neatly fit into a description of exactly the sort of person I don’t think I could ever date…
Yet, this happened. Repeatedly. Why?
Along with wordy, difficult to approach descriptions of myself, basic statistics about me were also prominently featured under my poorly chosen username and avatar. These are standard in most online dating profiles—the statistics, not the username and avatar. Actually, you know what? No. All of it is standard.
My statistics-bearing sidebar looked like this:
Okay, so most of the information there is inert. However, there are two very important points which I also brought up in other areas of my profile (areas I’ve yet to share with you).
First: I’m a strict vegetarian.
Second: I’m an atheist… for lack of a better or more accurate descriptor.
No, this doesn’t mean I was looking for a partner to go dancing naked with me at convents, lobbing kale salad through the dorm windows of sleeping nuns, but I thought it was at least implied that if you call yourself a “Christian Carnivore” in your profile… we’re probably not compatible.
The Christian Carnivores tended to disagree. They’d usually become very angry with me when I turned down offers to go on a Sunday afternoon date to eat the best burger in LA “…and order it so rare that it’s dripping!”
It’s fine that there are a lot of people in the world who want to go to church on Sundays and eat nearly raw meat after, I’m just not particularly interested in dating those people.
It isn’t that I would deny developing feelings or the emergence of a healthy relationship that had amazing potential for life-long happiness with a person who was religious, ate meat, or both… but generally speaking, my lifestyle choices would be as much or more a problem for them as theirs would be for me.
And if you’re going through all the trouble of setting up an online dating profile and navigating the very awkward and uncomfortable process of meeting and dating strangers you found on the web (an endeavor not entirely unlike trying to eat hot soup with your bare hands without spilling), wouldn’t you want to avoid dates with people you seem to have nothing in common with?
I mean, it’s one thing to disagree about your favorite video game. It’s another thing entirely to disagree about your basic understanding of the Universe and human beings’ place in it.
This world is made of love and peace…
40 Notes/ Hide
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- mal-the-gal said: Oh the messages I would get from atheists about me being a Christian. Goes both ways sometimes lol
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- merryburningparty said: Hot soup, bare hands, not spilling—that’s perfect.
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- simplechestnut said: Wow really?! People tried to take you to burger places when you made it overly clear you don’t eat meat? Not cool on so many levels. If you eat meat at least have the common sense to respect not everyone does, and vice versa. Online dating sucks so much.
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